emmaanderzzon

Alla inlägg den 9 oktober 2010

Av Emma Andersson - 9 oktober 2010 14:58

Nu går jag ut en sväng med Nelly, jag måste ut här ifrån.

Vi hörs senare.

Av Emma Andersson - 9 oktober 2010 13:49

  

Who's this girl staring back at me? All teared up, that can't be me? When did she become me? It can't be. I must be wrong... but that's my eyes isn't it? I use to be strong, where did all that go? I've been holding it up for so long so why now? I can't carry the whole world on my shoulders, I use to but I can't. I'm fighting with all I got, I'm screaming to the top of my lungs, I'm moving as fast as I can but still, that's not enough. Whatever I'll do or however I'll do it, I'll lose. So where do I go when the road comes to its end? I'm trying to build this wall to hold back the tears. Where do they come from? I thought I'd ran out of them? It's relieving to let it out but it hurts, so bad. Not being able to cry for over a year and now crying three times a day... it's like lighting struck down when the sun was still shining. Like it forgot it's apointment with the world. 

I've never felt this bad in my whole life and you're asking me if I'm moody? I thought you were the one who understood me, the only one I could turn to. I need you more than ever and you're sick? Who do I turn to now?


Are you happy now? I'm broken. I've lost myself and I can't find my way again. I hate you, do you understand? I wish you were dead. I'm tied to you but I've let go, long time ago. I've given up all hope there was. You're suppose to love me but I'm not gonna force you because I can't even stand you, I play it fair. You've completely destroyed all that I am or were. My soul is now lying in pieces on the ground and it's you who's holding the hammer. I'm blaming you because it was your mouth that said all those words and you will never, ever be able to take them back. Next to you I feel so small, like I don't matter. It's not that you don't see me, even though I sometimes wish it was. I don't get to have my own oppinion and whatever I'll say, you'll laugh... so maybe I should just shut the hell up. Maybe I should go and sit in a corner and be absolutely quiet, I would drag the old blanket over me so I wouldn't exist. I don't want to be a part of this but I am, involuntary. I won't let the music in my ears stop 'cause then I'll feel your hard words hitting against the thin skin that's left, covering up my soul. You made this girl.


Av Emma Andersson - 9 oktober 2010 13:36

Var ju egentligen meningen att Julia skulle komma till mig och få mig på bättre humör för igår var nog den värsta dagen i mitt liv. Men så blev det inte. Hon är sjuk så jag vet inte vad hon gör. Varför känns det alltid som folk lämnar en när man behöver dem som mest? Och varför säger man sådant när det bara får en att må sämre?

Jag måste verkligen sluta skriva sådär, jag tar dö på mig själv.

På tal om annat, här är gårdagens outfit:

  

Förmodligen världens sämsta bild, men jag orkar inte.

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